As many of you know, I left m great-paying office job because of internal issues that couldn't be resolved.  I also left in the pursuit of something more creative i.e.: event planning and interior decorating.  Unfortunately I've been unable to get a break and  I need a job.  I need to feel as though I helped and contribute to this society.  After being formally turned down from 10+ jobs sand having a bitter taste in my mouth, at the end of the day I still want to do good for others.

I tweaked my resume and tailored it to the government administration world.  I even wrote a little 'About Sarah' section.  Feeling high and confident I decided to go to a special job fair.  This job fair is only open to those who hold government security clearances.  After 8 brutal hours of answering personal questions and 6 months later I was graced with the esteemed 'Secret' clearance.  Having this clearance made me feel as if I had a golden ticket to endless possibilities.

I was getting ready for the fair (my first one ever) so I thought I should Google some research on what to be prepared with.  The site I found told me not to steal too many freebies, don't dress like a 'slore' (slutty whore), don't chew gum, and don't ask salary questions!!!  The site said I should be able to walk up and be able to introduce myself, a Plummer, and my area of expertise.  I thought these notes were stellar.  I couldn't wait to meet these prestigious companies who all demand golden tickets!

I picked out a perfect ‘Sarah’ outfit.  I couldn’t just blend in with the masses and wear a boring black suit.  But I also didn’t want to go the ‘slore’ route.  I chose a fuscia dress complete with wide synched belt and snakeskin peep toe pumps.

I got to the fair a little early.  I checked in, made a name tag (complete with sunshine drawing) and found a place to people watch.  Suddenly I was scared.  I never have had to put myself out there and basically beg for work.  I didn’t want to come off as desperate but I was willing to really take any type of job including a receptionist position.  I needed to calm down.  I went to the bathroom to see if makeup needed a touch up.  It didn’t but by that time nerves had set in and I was a sweaty, hot mess.

I was trying to cool down when a nice looking woman came in.  Although I was nervous, I couldn’t help myself from being friendly.  The woman was wearing a company polo so I instantly knew she was a recruiter and that she needed to know me!  I said ‘Hi’ as an ice breaker.  I let her know that I had taken the train and that I’m melting (because I’m so hot).  She asked if I was here for the job fair.  Didn’t she see my nametag? My sunshine drawing?  I told her I was and that this was my first one.  She instantly gave me the ‘up and down’ look like ‘obviously you’ve never been to one of these.’  She was about to just give me that look and leave me so I took the reigns of friendliness back and I  asked her if she was a recruiter.  She just answered ‘yes’ and I replied ‘You can always tell the recruiters.  They’re always the nicest and friendliest ones of companies.’  She mumbled ‘thanks’ and walked out.

OK So maybe not all the companies’ recruiters will be judgmental and not very friendly.  I walked into the fair.  I had never been to one of these so I assumed it was companies with booths set up.  There weren’t as many booths as I had envisioned.  Even though booth numbers were in short supply I wasn’t deterred.  I assumed these job fairs were like the county fair.  Recruiters saying ‘Step right up. Have we got a position for YOU!’  Definitely not the case here.  I was actually surprised.  Every booth I approached I was met by an awkward stare back at me.  This confused me.  These companies were here because they were the ones who had positions to fill.  Why where all of them, every single one of them so stand offish?  Even though I was blind sighted by all the awkward unfriendliness I thought of my googled site.  These people don’t know you, make them know you.

Every booth I went to I made the first move.  I introduced myself and I was returned with 2 of the same questions: What type of clearance do you have and what is your salary range?  Ah I was confused all over again! Clearance? Type? There are different types.  This I know.  Secret through top secret and then variations of the top secret (such as polygraph, non polygraph).  In my 2+ years working at a government contractor we probably had 10-20 top secret positions.  600+ were just secret.  Still holding my golden ticket I proudly announced ‘Secret clearance’ to whoever asked.  I was sadly returned with the same response ‘We’re actually looking for someone with a top secret.’

I went up to a booth and wasn’t asked what type of clearance I had but rather if I even held one.  I joked to the recruiter that everyone had to have one to  be invited to this job fair so of course I have one.  He asked what kind and I proudly said I had a secret.  He responded with ‘ You can always tell children of government employees.  They come to these things but all they have are secret clearances.’  I laughed and told him that I am no child of a government employee and that I got to where I am all on my own.

Suddenly it hit me what this whole thing was about.  Top secret clearance equals more pay.  More pay for an employee equals more commission for a recruiter.  Of course they don’t want to waste their time with a lowly girl who holds only a secret clearance.  And of course by me not wearing a boring suit and being a bubbly go getter probably was a big red ‘not top secret’ flag in their books hence the awkward stares.

Wow after all this scrutiny over our lovely golden tickets that so many of us held, I was beginning to have a bad taste in my mouth.  The only thing to make that taste worse was the salary questions.  Because my researched site said not to discuss it I hadn’t thought of sassy, smart responses.  Instead I was blind sighted.  Having the Midwestness of morals instilled in my blood I’m a firm believer that people should be paid what their jobs are worth.  Government contractors are paid a huge amount of money.  Teachers need to be paid way more money!

The first couple recruiters that asked me salary questions I gave honest ranges as to what I feel I’m worth.  After being asked it so much I didn’t know what I was worth and started saying really high ranges as well.  I asked one recruiter why they ask a salary question to someone they haven’t even interviewed.  He flat out told me so they aren’t wasting time.  Sour taste.  Sour taste in the mouth.  I had to leave.  I put my heart and soul out there and was clearly not what any of these companies wanted.  I felt I just wasted their time and vice versa. 

After feeling completely useless to society I was trying to stay positive and I had a great thought.  I’m a big people person.  These people working the job fair registration have to interact with people.  I found the job fair coordinator and I asked if her company were hiring.  I told her that I love interacting with people and that her staff was so helpful.  I joked to her that she probably gets a lot of people asking her for jobs.  She just answered, ‘A lot of people do ask. We’re not hiring. Thanks, we’re flattered.’ I mean that was it.  So awkward.

So what a day.  After attending this ‘special invitee only’ function and feeling inadequate and ill prepared I did find out from the coordinator that these job fairs for government are all alike.  Job fairs that state a security clearance are only seeking specialized person with not secret, but rather variations of top secret clearances.  Top Secret JAVA Software Engineers?  The government contractors want you!